Bullying Information
Tips for Parents “If your child is being bullied”
Take the initiative and talk with your child. Ask for specifics and write them down. If your child does not volunteer information easily, ask indirect and open-ended questions like “Tell me about your day!”
When attempting to stop the bullying, please do not do the following:
- Confront the bully and/or parents
- Ask your child to stand up to the bully by using physical force
- Blame your child for being bullied
- Keep the bullying a secret.
If it is happening at school contact the school immediately. Share your written log of the bullying incidences with the teacher / counselor/ administration. Ask to discuss a plan to stop the bullying behavior in addition to a safety plan to prevent retaliation by the bully.
Spend time with your child and encourage him/her to express his/her feelings regarding school. Praise your child for his/her accomplishments and, at the same time, give him/her responsibilities at home.
Role-play scenarios to develop resistance skills at home. Concentrate on non-verbal cues such as stance, voice inflections, eye contact, etc. Have your child problem-solve and discuss how humor, ignoring the bully, reacting differently, walking away, avoiding a situation, and reporting the incident might work or not work. Ask the school to offer your child a support that builds life skills.
Enroll your child into an extracurricular activity that builds assertiveness, friendship, social or self-defense skills such as martial arts, an athletic team, club, or creative experience that builds confidence.
Investigate if your child is more of a passive or provocative victim. Does your child provoke others when he/she is being bullied? Ask the teacher for his/her insight and suggestions. What behaviors could your child change that could lessen the odds that your child will be bullied?
Discuss that your child’s safety is top priority and if your child is threatened, to give up any possessions and then tell an adult. If the adult does not react, the child should keep a log and then tell the same adult or another adult until someone takes appropriate action.
Check periodically about the progress of the plan within the school. Get involved with the PTA and volunteer at your child’s school.
Be an appropriate role-model and demonstrate fair, consistent, age-appropriate respectful discipline.
If your child gives you indications that he/she is being bullied, believe your child and log the information. Remember to write down where and when it is happening, who’s involved, and the type of bullying that is taking place.
Bullying Resources
Bullying at School: What We Know and What We Can Do
Olweus, Blackwell Publishers, MA
Bullying in our Schools
David Fitzgerald
The Bullying Prevention Handbook
Hoover & Oliver, National Educational Services, IN
Bullying Prevention Program Blueprint
Center for the Prevention of the Study of Violence, Boulder, CO
Bullying Websites:
www.clemson.edu/olweus
www.opheliaproject.org
www.sapaofga.org
www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov
www.Stopbullyingandspeakup.com
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